In Search of the One Ring
by Odeena Sabnach
Chapter nine: Encounters and Arrivals
// Rivendell
Frodo: (wakes up and looks around; everything's blurry) Huh... where am I?
Voice: Well, well, look who's finally up.
Voice #2: Good morning dude.
Frodo: (rubs his eyes and looks around again; this time, everything is much clearer) Gandalf?
Gandalf: In the flesh. And skin, and bones, and nails, and hair... no, wait, those are part of the skin. Or not... Are they standalones? Hmm, hmmm... (voice drifts away in mutters)
Elrond: (glares at Gandalf) That dude is creeping me out. (turns back to Frodo) Anyway. Welcome to Rivendell. I am Elrond Halfelven.
Frodo: Halfelven? But you look entire to me, if you get my point.
Elrond: (Sigh) I'm half elf and half man, dude.
Frodo: Oh.
//Suddenly, Sam runs in
Sam: Frodo!!! (hugs)
Frodo: Sam... you're... (gasp) crushing me!
Sam: Oh... sorry.
//Meanwhile, Gandalf has gotten over his hair-nails-skin dilemma
Gandalf: ...right. You know, Frodo, you had us all quite worried. A few hours later, and you would've been beyond our aid.
Frodo: (shudder) Don't remind me.
Gandalf: But, luckily, Elrond here knew how to cure you.
Elrond: (waves) Hi dude.
Frodo: Umm...
Gandalf: But enough about that. Let's talk about happier stuff. Did you know Eminem released another album?
// Meanwhile...
// The gates of Rivendell open, and the future attendants to the Gather--err, the Council of Elrond start to arrive
Boromir: Whoa there, horsie. (looks around, attempting to look all cool and macho) So, this is Rivendell, huh. Nice place.
Legolas: (stops the horse, then jumps down and also looks around) I have returned.
Gimli: Phooey. I hope I'll never get to ride one of those.
Glòin: Well, I don't know, it looks kinda fun...
Gimli: Don't believe what you see, dad. Those things are dangerous!
Glòin: Well, they don't look dangerous to me!
// But Glòin couldn't be more wrong, for at that very moment...
Saelbeth: Maaaake waaaaay!!!
// Saelbeth's horse runs into view and crashes into Legolas and his horse. What follows is a nasty tangle of limbs, mud and hair.
Glòin: Whoa...
Gimli: Told you so.
// Fast Forward...
// Everyone is now ready for the Gathering of D--the Council of Elrond, sorry. The attendants are all there: Boromir, Strider (commonly known as Aragorn, son of Arathorn, Dùnedan, Elessar, Thrandùil and so on), Frodo, Gandalf, Legolas, Saelbeth, Gimli and Glòin. The only one missing is Elrond himself. Sam is spying from some nearby bushes, and Merry and Pippin are also spying from a tree
Boromir: So... what are we waiting for?
Legolas: I do not think that lord Elrond should be reffered to as a "what". More like "who".
Aragorn: He means we're waiting for Elrond.
Boromir: Oh.
Glòin: Say, that's a nifty horn you got there!
Boromir: (doesn't get it) Horn? Where?
Aragorn: He means the big red thing attached to your belt. (Sigh)
Boromir: Ooh, that! Why thank you!
Glòin: C'mon, blow it!
Boromir: ...blow it?
Aragorn: (sigh) Make like the battle call.
Boromir: Okie dokie.
// Boromir blows his horn. The others cover their ears, and some scream. From a nearby tree, two silouettes fall down.
Pippin: OW! You and your dumb ideas. Climb a tree, huh! Why did I ever listen to you? Well, what do you have to say for yourself?
Merry: (muffled) Get OFF my face!
Pippin: Oh... sorry.
// Meanwhile...
Elrond: (runs in) What happened? Orc dudes attacking?
Glòin: No, Boromir was showing us his horn.
Elrond: (Scandalized) His... horn? Dude, that's outrageous!
Aragorn: Elrond... not that kind of horn.
Elrond: Oh.
Gandalf: What took you?
Elrond: Well... (Glorfindel accidentally locked himself in the shower and I had to get him out before he drowned) nothing important. So, are we all here?
// Silence
Elrond: (Dumb question) Okay, since we're all here, we're ready to start - the Gathering of Dudes!
Others: (glare)
// And in the meantime, in some dark and gloomy place in the author's mind...
Wraith #2: Hello-o! We're over here! Over here!!
Wraith #4: We're supposed to be in the story?
Wraith #3: Ring Wraiths, ring any bells?
Wraith #1: Guys, be reasonable. We don't have anything to do with the Council of Elrond.
Wraith #5: You mean the GoD?
Wraith #1 & Wraith #2: GoD...?
Wraith #5: (sigh) Gathering of Dudes.
Wraith #1: Oh. Yeah.
Wraith #4: This stinks. I'd rather go work for Saruman again.
Wraith #3: (mutters) And get cool flying things.
Wraith #5: If he'll have us... I mean, the other four are who-knows-where and having fun with it! And look at us... Um, boss?
Wraith #1: You know, the idea is not that bad. And I think I got a plan...
// To be continued
___________
A/N: No Wraiths in the story? Nope. Just my mind. Anyway, the Council is one of my favorite scenes in the movie, so I just had to write about it ^_^ Of course, the Wraiths weren't very happy with my decision :) Sorry for the long delay - homework stinks. But from what I hear, I'm not the only one having this problem O_o It's a conspiracy I tell you! ^_^