In Search of the One Ring

by Odeena Sabnach

Chapter 2: I Smell a Ring

// Two days later…

Wraith #4: We’ve been riding for days, when do we eat?

Wraith #7: Yeah man, I’m hungry!

Wraith #9: Duh.

Wraith #3: Totally.

Wraith #1: (Exasperated sigh) Look, we’ll eat when we find something to eat. Happy?

Wraith #7: Nope. When do we find something to eat?

Wraith #1: (Rolls eyes) Shut up.

// Meanwhile…

// It’s Bilbo Baggins’ birthday party. Bilbo is holding a speech.

Bilbo: My dear neighbors… the time has come, for the inevitable to come to pass.

Everyone: (Blank stares)

Bilbo: I will leave the Shire, and never come back, because you people are boring.

Frodo: (from somewhere in the crowd) To say the least…

Bilbo: So – bubbye. (Puts on ring and disappears)

// Back with the Wraiths

Wraith #1: Halt.

// All wraiths stop

Wraith #1: Somebody… is using the Ring.

Other wraiths: Oooh… aaah…

Wraith #1: This way!

// The same night, in the Shire…

Bilbo: Welp, Gandalf, old friend, this is it. I’m leaving. I’ll send you a postcard. Bye!

Gandalf: Hold it. What about the ring?

Bilbo: What, that? Oh, I – I’m keeping it.

Gandalf: What? You can’t!

Bilbo: Oh yes I can and yes I will! You will not get – my preciousss!

Gollum: (from backstage) Hey! That was my line!

Bilbo: Was not!

Gollum: Was to!

Bilbo: Shut up, swamp breath!

Gollum: Line-stealer!

Gandalf: (Sighs as fight ensures) Oh well, I guess I’ll just take the ring then.

Bilbo & Gollum: Grr!!

// Uh-oh, the Wraiths felt the presence of the Ring, and Bilbo is out of the picture! What will happen next? Find out in the next chapter of – In Search of the One Ring!