In Search of the One Ring

by Odeena Sabnach

// Author’s Note: This is my very first attempt at writing LOTR fanfiction. I’d love to know what you think of it, so if you have any comments, suggestions, critiques etc., please let me know!

// Author’s Note II: Since I don’t know the names of the Ring Wraiths, I’ll just call them Wraith #1, #2 and so on.

~

Chapter one: The Plan

// Mordor: the sky is dark and cloudy, there are orcs swarming everywhere etc. Suddenly, the Black Gate opens, and nine Black Riders go through. Then, the gate closes with a loud ‘Bang’.

Wraith #3: OW! My foot!

// Five minutes and a complete bone rearangement later…

Wraith #1: Okay, listen up.

// Silence

Wraith #1: We’ve been called by the wizard Saruman the White, servant of the lord Sauron--

// All wraiths bow

Wraith #1: -- to find the Ring of Power.

// Mutters

Wraith #2: And where are we supposed to find it? Lease you recall, that ring’s been lost for three thousand years!

Wraith #1: I’m just getting to that part. The creature Gollum has conveniently told us (evil snickers) that the ring is now posessed by a certain Baggings, who lives somewhere called ‘the Shire’. No idea where that is though.

Wraith #5: Well, no matter, we’ll just find a hobbit, frighten him to death and have him told us what we need to know.

Wraith #1: Good plan. Here’s a cookie.

Wraith #5: Yummy! Cookie!

Wraith #1: …And after we find the ring, we kill the ring bearer and bring it back to lord Sauron.

// All wraiths bow again

Wraith #3: The dead bearer?

Wraith #1: No, stupid. The ring.

Wraith #3: Oh.

Wraith #1: And if we do this, Sauron (all wraiths bow yet again) will reward us greatly. (Thinks for a moment) Hmm… Sauron.

// Wraiths bow

Wraith #1: Sauron. Sauron. Sauron.

// Wraiths bow each time

Wraith #1: Hey, this is fun! Sauron!

// Wraiths bow

Wraith #1: He he hee…

Sauron: (creepy voice) Stop fooling around! Find me the ring!

Wraith #1: At once, lord Sauron! (bows) Okay people, move out!

Wraith #6: Wait – on an empty stomach?

Wraith #1: (Sigh) Okay, let’s have a snack first.

Wraith #2: We have no food.

Wraith #1: Well… drat. Come on, we’ll find some on the way.

Wraith #2: We have no money.

Wraith #1: So we’ll take the food!

Wraith #2: We have no stomachs!

Wraith #1: If you don’t knock it off, you’ll have no teeth by the time I’m done with you. Let’s go!

// And so, the Nine Riders set out into the mist, with only one goal: to find the One Ring, kill the Ring Bearer – and find some food for their immaginary stomachs. Will they reach the Shire? Will they find the Bearer? Will they fill their tummies? Find out on the next exciting chapter of – In Search of the One Ring!