The Fellowship of the Fanfic Writers!
 

by Odeena Sabnach

 

Chapter 1: It begins…

 

Rumors travel fast around my house. I had no doubt that everyone would know all about the events of the previous night, starting with Legolas doing my homework in exchange for a decent fic and ending with the elf unexpectedly become my boyfriend. I knew that I was in for a lot of stares and stiffed giggles; however, I had no idea of what was coming to me…

The next morning, I woke up with a headache. Not a light one, mind you, but a terrible one that made me want to bang my head against the wall until I would knock myself out. Thankfully, Boromir had foreseen it, and therefore he popped in shortly after I woke up, with a glass of hot chocolate and an aspirin. A quarter of hour later, I was feeling better. I got out of bed, thanked Boromir and sent him his way; then, I got dressed, combed my hair (a thing which took out at least ten minutes, since my hair never stays the way I want it to), then prepared for school. As I was stuffing some notebooks in my rucksack, I caught a glimpse of the school bus pulling over in front of my house, and I rushed out. As I ran down the stairs, nearly tripping over Gollum in the process, I thought I heard some giggles, but I didn’t pay any attention to them, as my mind was set on the bus alone.

After a particularly tough day at school (thankfully, Legolas’s homework was OK - I even got an A in physics!), I eventually half-crawled out of the overcrowded school bus and up to the front door of my house. Two very excited hobbits were playing some sort of baseball on the lawn. When they saw me, they both gave a shriek of glee and rushed to me, nearly knocking me over.

“So, is it true?” Pippin asked breathlessly.

I leaned against the door with a sigh. “What’s true?”

Merry giggled and elbowed Pip. Pip looked at me hopefully. “That you - and Legolas - y’know…”

I narrowed my eyes. “What about me and the elf?”

“Kissed!” Merry interjected anxiously.

“Did you?” Pip chimed happily.

My jaw dropped. The same moment, the door I was leaning against opened, and I fell through. Thank Heavens the carpet in the hall was soft. Immediately, a dozen different voices burst into fits of laughter.

“Yeah, hello to you, too”, I shouted angrily, jumping up and waving my schoolbag around menacingly (I narrowly missed Pippin’s head). Then I noticed something odd: more than a dozen of the guys were sitting on the floor on a bunch of colored cushions, holding clipboards and various writing instruments. I glared at them, an eyebrow flying up. “What are you guys up to…?”

Elrond, who was the only one sitting in an armchair, ceremoniously stood up. “Dear girl, welcome to the Fellowship of the Fanfic Writers.”

I tilted my head to one side and looked at him through half-lidded eyes. “The - what?”

“Well, Faramir was just telling us about last night”, Aragorn started, and I closed my eyes, waiting for the inevitable. “How you wrote all those fics and stuff”, he went on, and I relaxed slightly. “So we thought - hell, why shouldn’t we try it? By the way, that was a direct quote from Boromir. I don’t use words like ‘hell’ in my sentences.”

“Okay…” I drawled. “So what exactly are you writing, hmm?”

“Anything we feel like”, a very excited Sam cut in. “For instance, I can write about my garden--“

“We haven’t written anything yet”, Legolas interrupted him. “We were just starting.”

“Oh. Well, in that case”, I said,  “you don’t mind if I join you, do you?”

A vibrating chorus of ‘No’s came as the reply. I chuckled, then I sat down on the nearest cushion - incidentally or not, in between Legolas and Haldir, the latter giving me a surprised look - and I took out a pen, a notebook and a bag of chips.

“On my mark”, Elrond said. “You have fifteen minutes - begin.”

At the same time, thirteen different stories began to take shape.