Something Stupid

by Odeena Sabnach

Optimus: *sob* I hate my life.

Rhinox: What's wrong?

Optimus: *sigh* My girlfriend left me. Waa, no fair!

Rhinox: Ooh.

*Cheetor walks in*

Cheetor: Heya 'bots!

Rhinox: Cheetor, you were supposed to come back from school three megacycles ago!

Cheetor: *flinches* Yeah, I know.

Rhinox: Well…?

Cheetor: I, um, sorta got detention.

Rhinox: *sigh* What did you do this time?

Cheetor: Well, not much! I only wanted to see if the principal had healing circuits.

Optimus: *suddenly interested* And did he?

Cheetor: Um… nope.

Optimus: Oh. *sob* I WANT MY GIRLFRIEND!

*Rattrap barges in*

Rattrap: *desperate* Guys, hide me somewhere! Quick!

Dinobot's voice: *from the corridor* I will tear you apart, vermin!

TM2 Dinobot's voice: I will bite your head off, rodent!

Rhinox: What happened?

Rattrap: Well, one Chumperface is bad enough, but two of 'em… An' when I tried to tell 'em, they went postal on me.

Cheetor: Hide under here.

*Rattrap hides under the table, Dinobot and TM2 Dinobot run in*

Dinobot: Where is he? Where's the vermin?

TM2 Dinobot: We saw him walk in here.

Cheetor: Rattrap? Beats me…

Rhinox: Nope, didn't see him today.

Dinobot: What about you, Optimus?

*Optimus sobs and buries his face in his hands*

TM2 Dinobot: What's with him?

Rhinox: His girlfriend left him.

TM2 Dinobot: Ooh. *in low voice, to Dinobot* What a moron.

Dinobot: Couldn't have said it better myself.

*Silverbolt and Black Arachnia walk in*

Rhinox: Hey guys, how was the movie?

Silverbolt: The movie? Er, the movie was…

Black Arachnia: Cool, yeah.

Cheetor: What movie did you see?

Silverbolt: Terminator 20.

Cheetor: Oh.

*The door opens and Megatron the hippie walks in. Everyone aim their weapons at him.*

Megatron: Peace to you all! Protect the nature! Wildlife rules!

TM2 Dinobot: He's drunk.

Cheetor: Right on.

*Suddenly there is a knock on the door*

Cheetor: I'm scared.

Rhinox: I'll get it. *walks to the door* Who is it?

*No answer, Rhinox opens the door*

Ace Ventura: Ace Ventura, pet detective. How are you this afternoon.

*Everybody stares in surprise*

Ace: *walks over to Optimus* Excuse me, I would like to ass you a few questions.

Optimus: I WANT MY GIRLFRIEND BACK!!! *sob*

Rhinox: Wrong show dude. This is hangar 12.

ACE: Re-e-e-e-eally. *heads for the door and steps on Rattrap's tail*

Rattrap: *from under the table* Oww!

Dinobot: There he is!

TM2 Dinobot: Get him!!

Rattrap: *gulps* We're all gonna die.

*Suddenly, a missile bursts the door open and Rampage walks in*

Rampage: I WILL KILL YOU ALL! BWAHAHAHAhaheheHOHOHAHA!!

Cheetor: Oh, no! Waaaah!! *starts crying*

Megatron: Yo, man!

Silverbolt/Black Arachnia: I love you.

Rhinox: Guys, snap out of it! Rampage is going to kill us all!

Dinobot/TM2 Dinobot: Die, vermin!

Rattrap: Heeeeelp!

Optimus: I want my girlfriend.

Rattrap: Aaargh!

Rampage: Bwahahahaha!

Rhinox: *sigh* I give up. *walks away*