Shut Up Rattrap!
by Odeena Sabnach
*6:00 AM, the Axalon*
*Rattrap walks in the control room. There, he finds Cheetor, Rhinox and Dinobot, Dinobot is on monitor duty*
Rattrap: Good mornin' guys! Nice day, ain't it?
Cheetor: Whoa, what's with you up so early?
Rattrap: Well, couldn't miss da chance to see ol' Chopperface watchin' da monitors. It's so… refreshing, ain't it, Dino-butt?
Dinobot: I will not honor that with an answer, vermin.
Rattrap: You did already.
*Optimus walks in*
Optimus: Rattrap, I'm sending you on patrol with Dinobot this morning.
Rattrap: With da Chumperface?! Come on, Optimus! I ain't goin' on patrol with no stinkin' Pred!
Optimus and Cheetor: Shut up Rattrap!
~
*8:00 AM, grid Alpha*
Rattrap: *to himself* So, here I am, stuck on patrol with an overgrown stinky iguana. *loud* Yo' Chumperface! Any Pred signatures?
Dinobot: None, vermin.
Rattrap: Aw for bootin' out cold, will yas stop calling me that Chumperface?
Dinobot: It is who you are, is it not?
Rattrap: Oh yeah? Well I can tell you a lot of things you are! A damn stinkin' saurian, a freakin' Pred-
Dinobot: Silence, vermin.
Rattrap: -a scale-belly, a-
Dinobot: Before I slit your throat.
Rattrap: *gulps* Okay.
~
*13:21 PM, the Axalon*
*Rattrap and Dinobot had just returned from patrol*
Cheetor: *is playing Mortal Kombat 7* Hey guys, back so soon?
Dinobot: I could no longer stand the vermin's stench.
Rattrap: Aw, can it Chumperface.
Cheesy voice from Mortal Kombat: Shinnok WINS!
Cheetor: *desperate* Oh no! That was my last life!
Rattrap: *grins* Guess ya aren't as tough as you thought, huh, kiddo.
Cheetor: *exasperated* Rattrap, shut up.
~
*17:40 PM, the Axalon*
*Rattrap is taking a snooze*
Optimus: *walks in* Rattrap, wake up! You're supposed to be watching the monitors!
Rattrap: *jerks up* Yeah, sure, I… I wasn't sleepin', I was just restin' my eyes, yeah… An' everythin's fine, see?
Optimus: Oh yeah? Then what's with these Pred signatures heading for Tigatron and Air Razor?
Rattrap: Dat?! Oooh, dat, dat is…
Optimus: Go there, they might need some help.
Rattrap: *mumbles something irreproducible*
Optimus: Shut up Rattrap.
~
*18:01 PM , grid Syrian*
Rattrap: Well, here I am. Now where's da nature lovers? *trips over Inferno's slagged body* What da- *sees Waspinator a few feet away in stasis lock* Okay this is weird. I gotta find 'em… oh there they are.
*Tigatron and Air Razor are kissing*
Rattrap: Oooh, kissing. *closes in* Heya, lovebirds! Lookin' good…"
Tigatron: *surprised* Rattrap, what are you doing here?
Rattrap: Came to help, but looks like ya handled it pretty well.
Air Razor: Okay, now do you mind leaving?
Rattrap: Sure, sure. Have fun smoochin' ya two.
Tigatron and Air Razor: Shut up Rattrap!
~
*21:45 PM, the Axalon*
*All the Maxis are in the control room and Optimus is doing a review of the day*
Optimus: -and Rhinox found a new energon refining process. *sigh* Well, that's it… *in a commanding tone* Silverbolt, you're on monitor duty. The rest of you are dismissed.
Rattrap: *yawns* Well, 'been a long day… might as well catch some sleep. *heads for the door* Oh! An' one more thing to remember ya guys. *sigh* We're all gonna die.
Everyone: Shut up Rattrap!