The Chat Room
by Odeena Sabnach
Things were becoming so boring at the Maximal base. There had been no Predacon attacks, no stasis pods landing, nor anything else for more than a solar cycle.
Rattrap walked into the control room and found Dinobot asleep on monitor duty.
"Well, dere's something new!". He grinned as a nasty idea came in his mind. He closed in and pulled Dinobot's chair away. Taken completely by surprise, the lizard-bot landed on the floor with a loud clang. Rattrap was holding his belly in laughter.
"What in the Inferno was that for?" Dinobot asked, pulling himself together.
"Aw, sorry, did I wake you up? Poor baby!" Rattrap laughed even harder. "Ya really should see yer face, Lizard-Lips! He-he-he!"
"You-" Dinobot was looking for an honorable answer. Fortunately for him, just then, Optimus walked in, and Rattrap immediately turned his attention on the leader.
"Yo Big Banana, I'm BORED! If there's not gonna be any action soon, I'll go nuts!"
"You already are insane", Dinobot didn't want to miss the chance. "But, the vermin is correct", he added.
"Optimus!" Rhinox burst in. "Come quick! I found what's keeping the Predacons busy!"
"No kiddin'! What is it?" Rattrap asked.
"Well, if you'd all be so kind to follow me…"
The three maximals followed the gigantic 'bot down to his quarters. Most of the space was occupied by Rhinox's personal computer. The other maximals were already there.
"So, what is it, Big R?" Cheetor asked.
"You guys aren't gonna believe this…" Rhinox pressed a key on his console, and the screen above flickered. There was no image for a second or two, then short lines of text began to appear on. The others just stared in surprise, and their jaws dropped.
"What… what is it?" Optimus finally asked, recovering from the shock.
Cheetor giggled. "I think it's a chat room", the young bot explained. "We often used to do that back on Cybertron."
"Chat-room?" Optimus repeated in an astonished tone. "But how?"
"Well, 't ain't dat hard ta put up a local network", Rattrap grinned. "Even I could do it."
Here's how the Pred chat room looked.
Tarantulas: Hey, is this thing working? Can anybody read me?
Skorpinok: I read you!
Terrosaur: Me two, so what?
Tarantulas: It's working! I'm a genius!
Skorpinok: Ok, so what's the big idea?
Terrosaur: Yeah, I don't have time for this, I've got to plan on how to take down Megatron and become leader of the Predacons!
Tarantulas: You?! Take down Megatron? That's a good joke, he-he-he-he-he. I will take down Megatron.
Terrosaur: No you won't!
Tarantulas: Yes I will!
Terrosaur: No you won't!
Tarantulas: Yes I will!
Skorpinok: Neither of you will, I'm telling Megatron!
Tarantulas: Wait! So neither of us is taking down Megatron… today. Right, Terrosaur?
Terrosaur: Right.
Waspinator: What this? Wazpinator want to play too!
Terrosaur: Who let this idiot connect?
Tarantulas: Beats me.
Waspinator: Wazpinator likez chat! Wazpinator look for girlfriend. Any girlz who want to date Wazpinator?
Skorpinok: What an idiot.
Tarantulas: Right on.
Terrosaur: Waspinator, you're hopeless, you know that?
Quickstrike: Whatch'all doin'?
Skorpinok: Telling Waspy here that he's an idiot.
Waspinator: Bug-bot call Wazpinator names! Wazpinator not happy!
Quickstrike: Aw, do you need a hug?
Tarantulas: What a moron.
Black Arachnia: Wazzup boys!
Quickstrike: Sugar-bot!
Black Arachnia: I'm not yer Sugar-Bot.
Waspinator: That meanz Zpider-Bot go out with Wazpinator?
Black Arachnia: Eww, NO! I'd rather go out with Megatron!
Megatron: Why, that's very flattering, Miss Arachnia, yeesss…
Tarantulas: Megatron! What are you doing here?
Megatron: I've been watching you for a while, yeesss.
Waspinator: Bug-bot call Wazpinator namez!
Megatron: So, go tell someone who cares!
Rampage: Hey, is Inferno there?
Megatron: Why, Rampage, my dear! I've just sent him on patrol. Why do you ask?
Rampage: I want to kill him.
Tarantulas: Well that's a big surprise :)
Megatron: Why on Earth would you want that?
Rampage: He called me names.
Waspinator: Bug-bot call Wazpinator namez!
Rampage: So what? Anyways, what's this?
Black Arachnia: It's called chat, crab-legs.
Optimus: Hey, this looks like fun, can we join?
Tarantulas: No!
Megatron: But of course, my dears! Be welcomed!
Tarantulas: What?! Are you nuts?
~Megatron has kicked Tarantulas from #beastwars: "Usage of inappropriate language is NOT allowed in this room!"~
Optimus: Okay everybody, let's CHAT!
Silverbolt: Are you there, beloved?
Rattrap: Chattin' with da Preds? We're all gonna die!
Cheetor: Shut up Rattrap!
Skorpinok: Yeah, shut up.
Black Arachnia: Hello Bowser.
Waspinator: Bug-bot call Wazpinator namez!
Cheetor: So what?
Skorpinok: He's an idiot.
Cheetor: Right on. Hey, you're cool.
Skorpinok: You too.
Waspinator: Why univerze hatez Wazpinator?
Black Arachnia: Duh, because you're an idiot!
Silverbolt: Black Arachnia, dark venom of my heart, I love you!
Tarantulas: I'm back! Hey that wasn't very nice.
Inferno: I have returned Royalty!
Rampage: Inferno! There you are you [censored] [censored]ing [censored]!
Inferno: You know what, crab-face? BITE ME!
~Megatron has kicked Inferno from #beastwars: "Usage of inappropriate language is NOT allowed in this room!"~
~Megatron has kicked Rampage from #beastwars: "Usage of inappropriate language is NOT allowed in this room!"~
Cheetor: Hey this is fun!
Optimus: Hey I know! Let's play online strip poker!
Rattrap: Aw, shut up!
…And so, the chatting went on, day in, day out. Nobody seemed to notice the giant asteroid that was heading straight for Earth, until it was too late. And thus end the Beast Wars.
Have a nice day.