The Wake-Up Call

by Odeena Sabnach

The guys were REALLY starting to get lazy... They slept until noon, got up, eaten something on the run, had some fun, and then went back to sleep. No WAY Optimus could get any job done with them in this state. So he thought of something... new.

Every morning, one unlucky fellow gets to do a quick tour of the base and get everyone up. Why do I say 'unlucky'? There's three reasons to it. First, he has to get up at least half an hour before the others do. Second, most of the guys (me included) usually shoot the one who disturbs their beauty sleep. And third, there's a lot of walking to do, and walking ALONE through a spooky base early in the morning is NOT pleasant. That, of course, unless you're Rampage. He has a taste for whatever's dark and morbid.

But how do the guys manage to get us up in the morning?

You'd be surprised...

~

Optimus Primal: He's the leader, right? Riiight. But he's also a Maximal. So here's how he does: first, he asks you nice, and then, if he doesn't get you up, he simply picks you up (he's BIG, remember?) and dumps you on the floor. By the time you had pulled yourself together enough to yell at him, you're well and totally awake.

Rhinox: He doesn't have to say anything. His 'Chainguns of Doom' pretty much speak for themselves.

Cheetor: Sings. It's long since he figured we can't stand it when he does. Funny how much he seems to enjoy torturing our delicate sense of hearing.

Rattrap: Does whatever he does and gets the alarm online. As a result, we all wake up and rush to the briefing room. By the time we realize it's just a joke, it's way too late.

Dinobot: We usually let him scream his guts out before we even flinch. But when he draws his sword out, we know it's time to get up. And FAST.

Tigatron: What? Who's that?

Air Razor: Nice and gentle. All she has to do is ask.

Depth Charge: Doesn't really care about this. He just opens the door, shouts, "UP!", and leaves. And we sleep on, until someone else comes to drag us out of bed.

Silverbolt: Babbles about honor and chivalry until someone has to throw him out. We're having too much fun teasing him to sleep through it.

Black Arachnia: Wakes Silverbolt up and lets him take care of business.

Megatron: Sends Inferno. Everything HAS a limit. After a few minutes of him jabbering about 'the Queen', 'the Colony', 'the Royalty' and so on, we'd do ANYTHING to see him leave.

Inferno: Won't do it unless Megatron commands so. And if he does--see above.

Skorpinok: It's like this: he shouts "Up", we growl, he shouts again, we growl even louder, and so on. After a while, he threatens he'll tell Megatron and he leaves. Good night.

Terrosaur: First on 'Who-we-like-to-use-for-target-practice' list.

Tarantulas: NOBODY trusts him enough to have him around while they sleep. Who knows? He just might get a little hungry.

Waspinator: Direct hit--one point. Stasis lock--two points. Three points if he blows up. Four points if he can still talk after that. First one to score ten points wins.

Rampage: Yeah, right. That's all he wants: to catch you offguard. We're awake LONG before he arrives. Maybe that's why he usually gets assigned to this job.

TM2 Dinobot: "Dead or awake. Your choice." Short and to the point.

Thaliana: Doesn't give up until you're up and at it. In extreme situations, screams.

Alkari: Not too good for the job. He'll usually bails at the first sign of conflict.

Serena: Drags them out of bed.

Dua: As for me, my recipe is an easy one. I just access the main computer terminal from my quarters, bring the speakers online and play a cool ballad. That way, everyone's starting the day in a good mood.