Democracy

by Odeena Sabnach

Hi, and welcome back to Area 31!

In case you missed the previous events, here's the scoop. My life had been pretty boring until three days ago--when nearly twenty crazy robots came into my life. Thankfully, I managed to keep them from killing each other. Until they can their ships repaired, they will stay here. And since this group is in desperate need of a leader, I told them about the human way of holding elections. Which they really liked. The only question remaining is, who WILL win in the end?

Honestly, I bet on the wasp.

~

For a bunch of alien robots, the Beast Warriors sure catch on fast. The week that followed our first meeting was a weird one alright. The election campaign was fun to watch, but I had to keep a sharp eye around, so no one would get slagged for supporting one or another of the candidates. For short, here are the main events of the week.

The halls became stuffed with all sorts of advertising posters. My personal favorite was Rattrap's: 'Are you sick of doing all the chores around the base just because your leader's protégé is too dang lazy to do them himself? Are you tired of being used for target practice every day? (that was surely going to get him Waspinator's vote) Are you through with your leader yelling at you all the time? Then choose me as your leader, and all this will end once in for all! Vote for Rattrap!'

Rampage's poster was short and to the point: 'Vote for me, and MAYBE I will let you live.'

Optimus Primal made a two-page list of things he would do if he was voted, including 'bigger energon ratios for everyone' and 'improved living conditions'. No idea HOW he was gonna do all that if he won.

Terrosaur also made a list, from which I'll mention only the most relevant point, 'Permission to shoot and kill anyone, anytime and anyhow', repeated in a dozen different ways.

Dinobot's campaign poster babbled something about honor and the glory of conquest, and it was addressed mostly to the Predacons. Since the Predacons hated him and the Maximals had different views on life, I doubted anyone would vote for him.

Tarantulas gave everyone a bunch of energon cubes stuffed with some sort of drug that made everyone feel nice and happy, and the promise that he would give them more if they voted for him. Of course, later on Megatron could barely keep TM2 Dinobot from shredding the spider, but the raptor DID manage to bite Tarry's head off.

Waspinator buzzed 'Vote for Wazzzpinator' non-stop, until Dinobot blasted him into tiny pieces and locked him in a store far away.

Megatron held at least two 'What-would-I-do-if-I was-leader' speeches a day. Of course, after two or three days, the only ones that still listened to him were Inferno, TM2 Dinobot and Rampage, the latter being forced to do so by the raptor.

Rattrap and Dinobot had another fight, this time about who would make a better leader. Rampage got annoyed of listening and blasted them both into stasis lock before TM2 Dinobot sent him comatose.

When Waspinator finally managed to dig his way out of the store, he withdrew his candidature, which brought on a general sigh of relief. (I have no idea WHY, since nobody would vote for him--oh, wait, with the others being as psychotic as they are, that just MIGHT have happened.)

Tarantulas hid a paint bomb in Megatron's rubber ducky, and as a result, Meggie had a nice pink tint until he could finally scrape it off. I must say, his armor did NOT look good after that.

Optimus lost his biggest fan after sending Cheetor to his quarters for disrespect.

The last day, Rampage, Dinobot, Megatron, Terrosaur and Tarantulas had a big fight and they all ended up in CR chambers, with no perspectives of getting out anytime soon.

…And now I guess you wonder, who DID win in the end? Well, it was like this. Tigatron, Air Razor and Silverbolt voted for Optimus. Inferno, Skorpinok, TM2 Dinobot and Rampage voted for Megatron. Rhinox, Cheetor and Black Arachnia voted for Rattrap. Quickstrike voted for Tarantulas. Terrosaur voted for Dinobot. Dinobot voted for Terrosaur. Much to his disappointment, Rampage didn't receive any votes, and the look on his face didn't promise anything good for any 'bots around.

So, Meggie-Weggie won the leadership of the entire Maximal-Predacon group. Think that's bad? Then hear this: since everybody else was unhappy with it, they voted to vote again. It ended up as a tie between Optimus, Terrosaur and Dinobot. Since it was a tie, they had to vote yet again. Finally, thanks to a last-minute position change by Cheetor and a muttered conversation between Rattrap and Skorpinok, Optimal Optimus Primal became the omnipotent leader of the Maximal-Predacon alliance.

This time, Megatron and some Preds didn't go with this, so they proposed to vote for voting again. The proposal was rejected however, but the Predacons did gain something: after much argues, Optimus agreed to have a Predacon second-in-command. And they had to propose their candidates, and then vote for them…

At this point, I couldn't stand it any more and I left. The same evening, Serena told me that, in the end, TM 2 Dinobot was chosen second in command. That, after four rounds of votes. And a withdraw.

And as a conclusion, I will never EVER mention voting again to the guys, as Rampage swore to kill every other candidate the next time, Waspinator promised he'll hold speeches every hour, and Tarantulas already started working on a new and more effective drug.